Infertility. Some days are harder than others, and today is one of those days.
Aching heart, empty arms, broken dreams / Spinning in dizzying circles for eternity / Hope is a bad four letter word / When it seems your prayers are not being heard. / It’s feeling crazy, confused, jealous and sad / Isolated, weary, discouraged and mad! / Trying to cope…not wanting to hope. / Withering away, slowly dying / Swollen eyes from all the crying / Pounding heart, soaring fears, fragile soul / the hurt and pain continue to grow. / Praying to God! / Pleading with God! / Begging for God to please hear my prayers, / the disappointment I think I can no longer bear / Trying to be patient and trust in the Lord / but I don’t think my spirit can take anymore! / I want to be a mommy…I need to be – WHY??? / Why do I feel this so strongly? WHY? WHY? WHY? / Screaming now, shouting for the Lord to hear / “I’m waiting, I’m trying but do you care?” / Hurting inside, feeling weak, losing faith… / more crying and pleading now starting to hate! / My mind is twisting out of control! / I need help, I need healing this I know. / But does God really listen and understand? / I ask you again Lord, “Will you please hold my hand? / This journey I’m on seems long, the terrain too rough / When will you realize I’ve suffered enough?”